Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
