And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
