Duck Duck Cougar?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Randomize
