I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
im drinking this country out of the recession.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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