i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
