I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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