i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
