roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
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