im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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