A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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