You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
last night I used snow as a chaser
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
