The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
