This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
