And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
