dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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