Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
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