is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
