Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
