WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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