When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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