I don't think brook has ever known best
I haven't been this sober since birth.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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