do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
