I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
