Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
she peed on how many people?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
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