I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize