I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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