It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
