I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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