So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
