GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Randomize
