it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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