All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Randomize
