Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
