I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
