dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
