i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
