I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
