"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
