whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
