Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Randomize
