Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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