Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
