What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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