i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
