She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
