awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
