you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
