puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Rumble strips road head = magical
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
