I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
