I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
