Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize