I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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