Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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