If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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