So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
