I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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