I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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