Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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