Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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