Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
