We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
