We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I use my feet as sexual weapons
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
