just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
