so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize