she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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