Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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