So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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