some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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