i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Randomize
