Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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